I Have Zero Self-Esteem

I Have Zero Self-Esteem is the second episode of Survivor: Indonesia.

Night 3
"mahakam"

- I was completely blindsided, and I'm not happy whatsoever. Clover got her way, and that meant that Geoff, my only ally went home. I'm on the bottom and I'll have to fight my way to the top.

"mahakam"

- Louisa isn't too happy, and I'm loving it. She's giving us dirty looks, and she is rolling her eyes at everything we say. She's basically just isolating herself from the tribe, and painting a huge target on her back.

Day 4
"semeru"

- I go to use the clue that I got earlier, and I'm going just to go out and find the idol. All of a sudden, while I'm searching, I notice that Robbie is walking by. I have to hide in the bushes before he notices me.

"semeru"

- I hear some rustling in the bushes, and it seems odd to me, but I decide to ignore it, just in case there is a person or people behind there, and I don't want to start drama.

"semeru"

- Robbie just walks by and now I'm so happy on the inside. He's gone, and now I can continue my search without anyone knowing. I walk down the path, and I notice that there is an odd tree. I decide to search in and around the tree, and I find the idol! This is amazing!

"semeru"

- Evangeline is gaming way too hard. She's never at camp, and she's just digging herself into a hole. If we lose, she'll have to go home because she is taking the word shady to a whole new level.

"semeru"

- Tamara chats with Jeff, Arthur, and I about potentially creating a majority alliance against Evangeline. I honestly believe that doing so would be good for my game, as even the plan gets exposed, the blame is put solely on Tamara, rather than myself.

"semeru"

- The rift in the tribe feels like it's getting strong. The four people in the majority think that they are all smart and are masters at the game, leaving Evangeline out because she is a mess, and leaving me out, I guess it's because I'm considered a pretty girl or something?

"bandung"

- Honestly, I believe that our tribe is still strong even though we have people who are obviously on the outside and those people know it themselves. Hopefully they contribute to camp life though, as I really want to have an excuse to keep them around.

"bandung"

- Brian is trying to make Sarah and I feel comfortable and welcomed, but I feel more like an outsider because of it. If anything, I'd jump at any chance to mutiny away from this tribe and go to Semeru or something like that! (laughs)

"bandung"

- It's time for me to look for the idol. I don't care what anyone thinks of me, if they think I'm crazy, or a hard player, but I need this idol to survive in this game. If I don't find this, I'm pretty much screwed as I'll have to throw Sarah under the bus.

"bandung"

- I get off vibes from Haylee, she's ready to pouce and she's obviously storing up all this anger and it makes me uncomfortable. I always get a chill going down my back every time I chat with her by ourselves.

Day 5
"mahakam"

- I jolt awake because of screaming that I hear, and it turns out that Michelle encountered a family of rodents. Her face just made me burst into laughter. I guess she has never seen any kind of rodent before because she was petrified.

"mahakam"

- The rat that I saw, was so disgusting. I swear, I was about to vomit! Clover's reaction made it even worse! I love her to death, but she should've been a bit more considerate that not everyone is as tough as her! (laughs)

"mahakam"

- I feel like whoever chose these other people to be on this tribe need some kind of mental evaluation. It feels like none of them have the beliefs or values of a true republican. They're all young, dumb, and don't belong here. It's a sinking ship and I want out.

"bandung"

- Haylee is losing her mind, she needs actual help. She's acting like a crazy lady and she needs some sense knocked into her. I know that it's her dream to be on the show, and that she is on the rock bottom of the tribe, but she needs to keep fighting.

"bandung"

- I decide to chat to Sarah about how Haylee is acting because it's uncalled for and Sarah is the closest to Haylee. I may not be allies with Haylee, but we are on the same tribe, so I really feel like I should be there to see how she is.

"bandung"

- Maria and I decide to have a chat with Haylee, and she breaks down and vents to us. She says that she wants to quit, and we talk her out of it, because she really shouldn't quitting because this her dream, and I know she has the power to get out of this situation. I hope that no matter what, she stays in this game and keeps playing until the end.

"bandung"

- I head back from getting water, and I'm informed that Haylee hasn't been all there lately, and I know that she has people to talk to right here, and I'm glad that she's using that opportunity. Maria is a really great person, and I'm really glad to see her helping out, and I think Haylee can really depend on her for some advice and comfort.

"bandung"

- I really don't want to invade the personal conversation that the three girls are having so I decide to chat to Kevin, and he turns this delicate and fragile topic, into a conversation praising Maria! I understand you have a major crush on her, but dude, this isn't the time.

"bandung"

- To have the support and to have the people there talking to me and comforting me makes me feel really comfortable. (wipes eyes) I love the two to death, and I really don't want to quit, and I really don't want them to have to vote me out by choice, so I tell them to forfeit the challenge and vote me out on the spot because I really don't want to be here anymore.

Day 6
"mahakam"

- Looks like it's another day in the Mahakam hellhole. I can't wait for when these fools vote me out or a swap happens! My only way of survival would be to cause some chaos and blame it on one of those four, and I hope I'd do it on Clover.

"mahakam"

- It seems like today's challenge may be a combined one, so I hope that we end up winning it because we really need a reward! Our tribe feels barren, and a win may help boost tribe morale and potentially make the camp look nicer!

"mahakam"

- Michelle and I have bonded really close together during the past two or three days, and I think that it's a good idea that we're keeping our relationship a secret. I seems like the tribe is really dedicated to winning, and a power duo sitting around like ducks may make them feel like they make a big move.

"semeru"

- Everyone decides to go and head to Tree Mail to find out some details about our next challenge, and I'm excited, y'know! It seems like everyone is excited and I'm really excited! I'm a receptionist, I have to deal with people all the time! I can read body language easily, and I sense no negative attitudes, so it's perfect.

"semeru"

- Jeff reads the Tree Mail and it seems like we're going to have our first challenge in the water! I'm screaming on the inside, because I've always wanted to do one of those. Heading into the challenge, I know that we're all ready, and that no matter what, we're gonna win!

"bandung"

- Haylee gets us to forfeit for her, so we can vote her out on the spot, and I really don't want to do it. She's been a true friend to me on this island, and I'll really, really, miss her. (cries)

"semeru"

- That was a complete shock, I don't know what was happening on that tribe, but I do know that it was the right decision for Haylee because she didn't seem to into it. I respect her decision, and nobody should consider her a quitter.

Challenge
Immunity Challenge: Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Winners (in order of finish): and  (by forfeit)

Tribal Council
Tribal Council was held at the site of the challenge due to Bandung forfeiting the challenge according to Haylee's wishes. The vote was cast verbally, and Haylee opted not to cast a vote.

Voting Confessionals
Due to the nature of the Tribal Council, no voting confessionals were recorded

Final Words
"bandung"

- It was an okay six days, and even though my mind fell out of it, I know that I made two life long friends, Maria and Sarah and that I can count on them for being there for me whenever I need them. I'm going to miss them. (cries)